Coaching is often spoken about as if it’s a service you simply receive; but that’s never been my experience – either as the coach or the client.
Coaching works when you work. It’s a relationship and, like all meaningful relationships, it’s a two-way street. You get out what you put in.
Choosing to work with a coach is a courageous act. It isn’t for everyone. It requires honesty, vulnerability, a willingness to look directly at your blind spots and, perhaps hardest of all, the commitment and discipline to change. I often see leaders underestimate that part.
They expect insight, yes, but not always the accountability that sits alongside it.
If you’re considering coaching, or you’re currently in the thick of it, here are three reflections to help you get the very best from the experience.
“Coaching requires honesty, vulnerability, a willingness to look directly at your blind spots and, perhaps hardest of all, the commitment and discipline to change”
1. Hold yourself accountable (before you expect anyone else to)
When leaders tell me what they ‘want from coaching’, I often ask a different question:
“Why?” Why this? Why now? Are they hoping for help with something straightforward, such as time management, or do they want to work on something deeper, something that could become career-defining?
Also ask yourself: what responsibility am I willing to take for my own progress? Accountability isn’t punitive; it’s empowering. It’s showing up and being present, week after week, even when the diary is full, even when the pressure is rising and postponing feels easier.
Coaching isn’t a spectator sport. Participation creates momentum. And, yes, that includes the uncomfortable moments. The instant you realise a long-held habit no longer serves you, or when a simple coaching question reveals the very issue you hoped to gloss over. These moments matter. They are the hinge points of growth.
“Coaching isn’t a spectator sport. Participation creates momentum. And, yes, that includes the uncomfortable moments”
2. Get clear on what you expect (and why it matters)
Not all coaching is the same – and it shouldn’t be. Your expectations shape the work.
Do you want a thinking partner to keep you evolving in a world where pace and relevance are everything; a strategic sounding board for dealing with complexity, demanding stakeholders and competing pressures?
Perhaps you need an antidote to the fast, intuitive, unconscious (and occasionally illogical) decisions that pressure can create. Or simply a protected space to switch to slow thinking, make time for yourself and reconnect with your leadership purpose.
Once you’re clear on the ‘why’ and the ‘what’, your coach can better partner with you on the ‘how’.
3. Treat coaching as a strategic investment
The leaders who get extraordinary results from coaching share several habits:
• They prepare, reflect and follow through
• They challenge themselves rather than waiting to be challenged
• They protect the time rather than squeezing it into the margins
• They treat coaching as a strategic tool for thinking and planning, not a remedial fix
• Crucially, they understand that a coach is neither a critic nor a cheerleader. A coach is a partner: invested in their success, but independent enough not to collude with their blind spots.
“It’s not the coach who changes your life; it’s your own willingness to engage deeply in the process”
Coaching only transforms your leadership when you allow it to transform you. It’s not the coach who changes your life; it’s your own willingness to engage deeply in the process.
If you’re courageous enough to choose coaching, choose wisely. Then be brave enough to commit to it, as that commitment will deliver transformative results.
Sara Barrie is an award-winning master coach with more than a decade of global coaching experience following a successful executive career. She works with C-suite leaders, boards and senior teams across FTSE and Fortune-listed companies, entrepreneurial businesses and in the third sector. Known for her commercial edge and insight-driven approach, she coaches leaders in elevating performance and delivering real, sustained impact.
