Hybrid and global teams mean many leaders rarely see half their colleagues in person. Virtual meetings have become central to daily work, but convenience can mask a quiet erosion of trust and collaboration. To maintain strong professional relationships across borders and time zones, we need to be far more intentional about how we connect online and deliberate about when we choose to meet in person.
The technology now available to us may be sophisticated, but our brains haven’t evolved at the same pace. Trust is still built through eye contact, small, shared rituals, and interactions as simple as a handshake. In virtual meetings, those cues are blunted or disappear altogether.
Unless we deliberately redesign how we interact online, teams can quietly lose the conditions that make collaboration easy: mutual understanding, psychological safety and the confidence that “these are people I can rely on”.
As an expert in professional relationship strategy, Andy has worked with individuals from several multinational companies who face the challenge of raising their profile and gaining the support of colleagues with whom they rarely interact in person. Francesca has worked hard to ensure that the relationships across the international Baker Tilly network she leads flourish, despite members being based across different geographical locations. Dr. Lynda Shaw is a leadership psychologist who focuses on helping organisations use behavioural neuroscience to get the most out of their teams. Together, we have had to combine an understanding of how to get the most out of modern communications with a desire to connect in person to create opportunities for connections to thrive.
There are some simple steps you can take to create genuine connection and build deeper trust among your team members, wherever they are.
Bring humanity into the conversation
Authenticity drives connection, yet many people over-correct by aiming for perfection on virtual calls. Overly polished digital backgrounds often blur or flicker whenever someone moves, not only distracting but also potentially causing visual strain and cognitive fatigue as the brain works harder to interpret unstable images.
There is also a neurological impact. Trust-building brain chemicals such as oxytocin are stimulated by eye contact and genuine facial expressions. When we blur our surroundings or minimise our own image on screen, we reduce the amount of real, imperfect human information others can take in. That, in turn, limits the subtle cues that help people feel, “I know you, I get you, I can trust you.”
Psychologists, such as Paul Ekman[1], have shown that micro-expressions – split-second changes around the eyes in particular – often reveal when something hasn’t landed as intended. In person, we can sense those moments and clarify. These signals are already harder to detect online; sterile or artificial backdrops remove even more of the humanity people rely on to build trust.
We mustn’t let technology strip away our humanity; we may need to work harder to maintain authentic connection when not speaking in person.
Create moments of interaction
If we meet in the office, we chat. Whether it’s a water cooler conversation, chit-chat before a meeting starts or grabbing a drink after work, there are countless opportunities to get to know each other personally. But when we meet online, we typically dive straight into business.
It’s even worse on group calls. Andy recently participated in a group call where the entire group (about thirty participants) remained silent while waiting for everyone to join and the meeting to start. The only interruption was the meeting host periodically repeating, “We’ll start in just a couple of minutes”.
Instead of presiding over a redundant silence, meeting hosts can take the initiative by encouraging people to turn on their cameras and asking some questions to break the ice.
Leaders can also schedule short virtual “coffee chats” or pair colleagues randomly for non-business conversations. These informal exchanges recreate the social glue teams lose when they work across locations. Even a private message thanking a colleague for an insight can spark a deeper relationship.
These seemingly trivial conversations are not a break from ‘real work’. They are one of the ways our brains test and reinforce trust: Are you interested in me as a person? Do we share any common ground? Without these social rituals, people are more likely to stay guarded, which makes deeper trust and true collaboration harder.
Design virtual meetings around how trust really works
If we accept that virtual meetings strip away some of the richest signals our brains use to assess trust, the question becomes: what can we do about it? Three elements are particularly important:
Eye contact and micro-expressions
Video platforms make true eye contact difficult, especially when the camera is positioned far from where people appear on the screen. Leaders can’t always invest in new equipment, but they can:
- Position the main video window as close to the camera as possible
- Encourage people to raise their cameras to eye level rather than looking down at a laptop
- Build in short check-ins (“How is this landing for you?”) to compensate for the subtle signals they may be missing
Tactile cues replaced by shared experiences
A handshake tells us a lot about someone’s confidence and warmth. Online, that tactile information disappears. We can’t replicate touch, but we can create shared experiences that serve a similar function: small rituals at the start of a meeting, shared objects sent to the team ahead of a virtual offsite, or even a moment when everyone stands, stretches, and refocuses together. What matters is a sense of “we are doing something together”, not just silently watching the same screen.
Small talk as a deliberate agenda item
Rather than hoping informal conversation will happen, leaders should schedule it. That might mean five minutes of guided small talk at the start of the call, using a simple question (“What’s one good thing from your week?”), or putting people into breakout rooms of three or four as they arrive. In smaller groups, more people speak, more stories are shared, and trust builds more quickly.
Make the most of being together in person
When teams do meet in person, the time should be used intentionally. Fill your calendar in advance, reach out to colleagues who aren’t attending the formal meetings, and create opportunities for informal conversation.
Andy worked with the London-based team at an international law firm who started hosting breakfast and lunch get-togethers at a local bar whenever they visited one of their US offices. It was an open invitation; they could make the most of it whether two people turned up or twenty. Even if people aren’t available when you’re there, the simple act of inviting them is a point of connection.
When Francesca visits member firms, she tries to build in time for them to chat in a more informal setting, such as a walk in a nearby park or a quick trip to a local museum.
Even when hybrid workers attend their own offices, they can still be looking for opportunities to connect. As one HR leader noted when her team returned to the office: “Don’t do anything in the office you could do at home.” In-person time is too valuable to spend on emails or remote calls.
You can build relationships remotely
None of this means deep relationships can only form in person. Many global teams work almost entirely online and still develop strong trust. Andy co-authored The Financal Times Guide to Mentoring with a colleague he had never met in person, building the relationship through Zoom, WhatsApp and shared projects. Francesca recorded over 50 podcast episodes with a co-host before they ever met for coffee.
With intentional effort, such as more frequent touchpoints, curiosity, and well-designed virtual interactions, remote relationships can flourish. Hybrid working is now a permanent feature of how global teams operate, and trust can thrive across borders when leaders plan deliberately.
About the authors
Andy Lopata is an international speaker who has written six books on networking and professional relationships, including co-authoring The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring. He is also the host of The Connected Leadership Podcast. You can assess your approach to professional relationships here.
Francesca Lagerberg is the Global CEO of Baker Tilly International, a top ten global accounting firm working across over 140 countries in the world with around 44,000 people (http://www.bakertilly.global). She has been in professional services for most of her career and is also a well-known commentator in the media on topical issues affecting her sector.
Dr. Lynda Shaw specialises in applied neuroscience, she has guided numerous organisations to create environments where high-performing staff feel valued, supported, and far less likely to leave. Holding a doctorate in unconscious processing for the last 18 years, she blends deep academic insight with warmth, wit, and a practical, no-fluff delivery that resonates at every level of leadership. Business owner, author, international speaker and advisor, her mantra is “never shrink, only ever expand”. But most importantly, she genuinely cares. She listens, she lifts, and she leads with both science and heart.
